The Late August Guide to Hosting a Dinner Party
Hosting a dinner party might feel overwhelming and you’re unsure of where to start. Our founder and editor, Jamie Crain, is a lifelong hostess and is sharing her tips for an approachable and fun dinner party.
In case you’re still on the fence about hosting a dinner party, learn more about the evolution and benefits of a dinner party and our case for why they’re positioned for a comeback.
Pick a theme or purpose for the dinner party
One of the first concerns hostesses and guests have are centered around the conversation. What if we don’t have anything to talk about? What if my guests don’t gel and the conversation never takes off?
By picking a theme or a purpose for the dinner party, you are creating a comfortable setting for reliable discussion. For instance, the dinner could center around a food theme or experience. You could choose a menu from the likes of Betty Draper where you travel around the world or choose a cuisine you love and want to share with your guests. It could also simply be seasonal or farm to table inspired.
If you want to kick it up a level, you could host a murder mystery dinner or a dinner and a movie theme. Integrating other concepts into your dinner party can make it fun and engaging. Again, it doesn’t have to be a fully planned affair. Simplicity often makes the dinner party more enjoyable for the hosts and guests alike. A simple music theme with a few of your music-loving friends will do just fine.
Curate the invitee list
When you’re first starting out, start small and close to home. Invite a few friends to enjoy a dinner and test it out. As you grow your hostess sea legs, there are a few approaches and considerations.
Start with the maximum number of guests you can host at your dining table. If your table seats 6, you look for 4-5 additional guests to join you for the event. Create a diverse list of potential guests. Look for shared interests, but varying backgrounds. Some of the best conversations at our dinner parties have been between a venture capitalist and a dancer, an environmentalist and an educator, a beer lover and a bacon lover.
Make the menu personal and approachable
Here’s the number one tip we can share when it comes to the menu: don’t plan to cook a recipe for the first time for your dinner party. It’s too much pressure, and you’re now in trouble if it doesn’t work out–which happens to the best of us. Either plan to cook something you’ve made before or be sure to do a trial run meal.
When planning the menu, be kind to yourself. It would be a tragedy to plan a dinner party to connect and have fun only to spend it stressed out in the kitchen. Consider menu items that can be made earlier in the day or even the day before. Plan for 1-2 items to be already prepared or even pick up one item from the store. Dessert can often be made ahead. The french bread with dinner can be picked up from a local bakery. Make the menu as easy and delicious as possible.
Love what you are cooking for your guests. That love will translate to the plate. Pull from your own family traditions or dishes that represent your own culture.
And, have fun with it. If you want a Barbie themed dinner party, then plan accordingly and stock up on all things pink. You can always ask for help too.
Ask your guests about any food allergies or preferences
This is a simple one. Survey your dinner guests to ensure you take into account diet preferences, limitations, and allergies. That way, you’ll be able to prepare a menu that everyone can enjoy. Bonus tip: ask about beverages, too. Beer or wine or cocktails make all the difference. If no one drinks wine, you can save a few dollars and skip red. And, of course, keep your non-drinkers in mind too.
Prepare topics and questions for conversations
Hosts generally guide the conversation, especially in those in-between lulls that always seem to happen even during the best dinner parties. Having a list of questions and conversation starters prepared in advance takes the pressure off you and your guests. Plus, it can be a way to get to know your guests in a new or different way.
Some of examples include:
What is the best meal you’ve ever had?
What is your favorite place to visit in the US? Abroad?
What’s one meal you can’t live without?
What’s the best hotel you’ve ever stayed in?
What is the best book you’ve read lately?
What’s a random fact you learned that we should all know too?
What hobby are you really bad at?
What’s your selection at the ice cream truck and why?
What historical or famous person (dead) would you want to have a chat with?
What famous people are you inviting to a dinner party?
You don’t need a lot of them, but having a few in your pocket to get the conversation going will ensure your guests have a great time.
Make a dinner party playlist
You need some tunes, friends. Make a list of chill but upbeat songs to be playing during your event–especially before and after the meal itself. During the meal, you could explore a lower volume or skip it altogether.
Pro tip: If curating a playlist isn’t your thing, ask a friend (just be sure they’re on the guest list) or dive into Spotify’s suggestions.
Serve dinner family-style
Serving dinner family-style offers guests a more informal setting and primes guests with built-in interaction. This style of service is more communal and creates a more intimate event, which allows guests to feel comfortable opening up to real conversations and connection. It also takes the pressure off the broccoli haters at the table, if you’ve served up your grandma’s famed broccoli recipe.
Spend time on the tablescape
It doesn’t take a lot of time or budget to make a beautiful tablescape. A simple table runner, a few tea lights and some fresh greenery from the farmer’s market are the basics for any tablescape.
Items to consider for your table setting:
Table runner or tablecloth
Candles, real or flameless
Non-fragrant flowers, seasonal greenery or seasonal decor (i.e. baby pumpkins in the fall)
Glasses, plates, utensils, napkins
Optional: place cards
The cell phone basket
Have you ever looked around a restaurant and noticed that at least half the room is on their cell phones instead of connecting with the people they’re with? We get it. We fall victim to the habit of checking our phones–especially if it’s right next to us or on the table. We suggest having a basket at the front door for guests to drop-off their phones for a phone-free evening. If you want pictures or do it for the ‘gram, you can make it a quick trip to the basket to grab your phones for quick pictures–just make sure they get returned to the basket.
Pro-tip: As the hostess, wait until all of your guests have arrived to drop your own phone in the basket. Otherwise, you’ll join the lessons learned the hard way club.